Virginia Woolf
She leaves me cold
I recognize the genius
But I'm twice as bold
 
I have more to say
Than Hemingway
Lord knows, compared to Faulker
I say it in a better way
 
Graham Greene
He loves me
He loves my poetic
Sensibility
 
Katherine Anne Porter
Might be the best one now
But in about a year
I'm gonna show her how
 
Yes I will
 
Said to Reeves the other day
Proust really is the man
Who comforts me in a way
No other writer can
 
The timeless quality of the work
The length! Is very long
Believe me Marcel Proust goes on
And on and on and on. 7 volumes
 
Oh, Harper. Harper
Lee. Lee. Lee
She only wrote that one book
I've written more than three
 
Darling Tennessee Williams
It's anybody's guess
Why "Streetcar" made millions
And "Wedding" so much less
 
I will forever be pondering that one
 
Oh, Harper. Harper
Lee. Lee. Lee
Why do they always compare her to me
To me
 
Won't even talk about
Eudora Welty
As for F. Scott, my Sad Cafe
Is greater than his Gatsby
I'm just telling you
What someone told me they read
I never look at my reviews
They might give me the big head
Now Truman Capote was hypnotized
Mesmerized. Cause he realized
That I knew that he knew
That he had plagiarized
 
My cadences!
Imagine his surprise,
You'll see it in his eyes
When I win that Nobel Prize
 
Thank you. Thank you so very much
 
Harper. Harper
Lee. Lee. Lee
Why do they always compare her to me
To me
 
She always seems to be receiving
More than she deserves
Honey, she's poaching on
My literary preserves
 
Yes from Harper Lee
We have seen and we've heard and
I'd like to kill more than just
That mockingbird
 
You know, sometimes I really would
So you just wait until next year
